Funny Replies to Someone Who Wants to Hit It
When you're not feeling up to hearing other peoples' stupidity, their voices can be unbearable. You've had a long day and you REALLY, just want everyone to go away. Immediately.
It's only human nature. Sometimes, you've just had enough and everyone and everything needs to leave your immediate vicinity before you GO OFF. But before you go off, remember: some people are IDIOTS. These people aren't worth your time, and honestly, there's no point in getting worked up over someone else's situational inadequacy.
For these situations, you just need one thing: a one-liner. Put them in their place and flip your (metaphorical) weave while you find your happy place.
So for all the times that they get on your nerves, here's a few quick clap backs to shut them down and stop them in their tracks. These one-liners will be all the ammunition you need to assert yourself and your point. Just make sure you practice your confident walk away strut to be the icing on the cake afterwards.
If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotes, inspirational sayings, and hilarious friendship truths, we've got you covered.
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"Roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers and the middle one's for you."
Can you see the "fuck you" in my smile?
I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today.
I guess those enlargement pills are working because you're twice the dick you were yesterday.
I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.
Is your ass jealous of all that shit coming out of your mouth?
The jerk store called. They're running out of you.
There are two sides to every story, but you're a douche in both of them.
No, No. Please keep your stupid to yourself.
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
Being a dick won't make yours any bigger.
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
oh, I'm sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
The trash get's picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
I love the sound you make when you SHUT UP.
Too bad you can't photoshop an ugly personality.
You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Hey trainwreck, this isn't your station.
I've found puddles deeper than you.
Some people think they are champagne in a tall glass, when actually they are more like lukewarm piss in a plastic cup.
I've met some pricks in my time, but you, my friend, are the fucking cactus.
If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.
No, i checked my receipt. I didn't buy any of your bullshit.
Photo: LOLVirgin
"B*tch please, I can remove 90% ofo your 'beauty' with a wet kleenex."
Photo: ImgFave
"There's no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time."
Photo: SomeECards
"If you don't shut your mouth, the next thing to come out of it will be your teeth."
Photo: SomeECards
"You sir, are the human version of period cramps."
Photo: MuchPics
"If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ level."
Photo: DumpADay
"I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life."
Photo: Chuck's-Fun
"Sorry dear, in order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though."
Photo: Chuck's-Fun
"I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them."
Photo: WackyButtons
"Shock me. Say something intelligent."
Photo: PinImg
"No I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you."
Photo: Teen.com
"I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse."—Ariana Grande
Photo: Teenager-Posts
"Dear haters, I couldn't help but notice that 'Awesome' ends with me and 'Ugly' starts with U."
If you show me you don't give a fuck. I'll show you that I'm better at it.
I hope you step on a lego.
I would slap you but shit splatters.
Photo: DumpADay
"Sure, you're street smart. Sesame street smart."
Photo: PinIMG
"I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the earth revolves around the sun and not you."
Photo: ImgFave
"Zombies eat brain. You're safe."
Photo: The Berry
Person: You're ugly.
Me: Good. I was trying to look like you today.
Photo: Pinterest
"The only way you'll get laid is to crawl up a chicken and WAIT."
Photo: LOLSoTrue
"Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there."
Photo: Netai.net
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew."
Photo: Weebly
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in a cage. But laughing at you."
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Source: https://www.yourtango.com/2016294490/20-comeback--funny-quotes-leave-them-speechless
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